Life As We Know It

klamarie @ 2004-12-02T19:41:00

2004-12-03T01:44:13Z

SO pretty sure i started using Xanga, and i was like FUCK LIVE JOURNAL! but.. sometimes my computer will freeze if i go to it..so IM BACK!

I really dont have anything to type about.. so i'd figure, i'd type about Makenzie, well actually, she figured that out for me..

sMAK y0 seLf: WRITE ABOUT ME

SO.. Makenzie Lane Keller..

Mak-n-cheese..
I dont really have anything to type.. lol sorry:-[.. Im on a short mind frame today:( I LOVE YOU THOUGH! aNd, I cant wait to come seeeeee you! it'll be mucho fun.. I miss you kenzie!

*Kayla*

klamarie @ 2004-11-26T01:02:00

2004-11-26T07:12:47Z

First of all.. even though its an hour and 2 minutes later.. HaPpY TuRKeY DaY!!!

So.. Today i went over to my sister's for thanksgiving.. That was fun til i got sick.. and then i slept from at least 1 to 4 or so when my mom woke me up to go over to my grandparents..

So we went over there for like.. 30 minutes or so cause i didnt wanna stay over there any longer.. and then i came home and got gas *that will come into play later in the story*

So i go and pick Joe Rod Up.. and i finally after forever, i find his house.. and then we went and got Duy and Danny, and then we went and got saint..

I call Bryant cause he said that he was having people over at his house, so we go over there, and then this is where the fun stuff happens..

I start to walk inside and joe rod *J.R. He will be called through out the story* said something about mud or something, so i start to walk around the car and FALL into this HUGE puddle of WATER.. and my whole left foot and half my leg is soked.. so of course, i get mad fun of for that....

So, after maybe.. 30 minutes.. Me, Duy, and Saint all leave and go drivin around cause they want us to go get beer, and we really didnt want too so we just drove around, and like a dumbass, i let saint drive, cause he hasnt drove for over a month since he's been outta town.. so.. i let him drive.. and he's driving like a fucking crazy man.. so we stop after 20 minutes of driving and we get this kid some food from the gas station cause he wanted some chips and i walk outside, and i have fucking 57 wrote on all side of my car. the hood and everything.. so we go back and J.R.'s mackin on all these girls.. lol.. so then finally after leave and coming back at least 4 times.. we go inside, and saint FALLS IN THE PUDDLE OF WATER.. with the SAME leg i did.. so then he got made fun of:0)..so then we go and get beer finally from steven.. so we meet them at QT.. and jared brucker is there! and i havent seen him in FOREVER! so i talk to him for a minute and then we leave and go back to bryant's. well when we went to go get the beer.. saint and j.r. fucking jacked me of the front seat in my OWN CAR.. which was gay. but it was whatever.. so then i decided i wanted to come home so saint drove to danny's so danny could get his car, and then he drove me to my house.. lol and made danny follow.. for some unknown reason.. so then danny got saint and they went back to bryant's.. end of story..

OH ABOUT THE GAS! i had a half of tank.. and becuase of saint's.. WONDERFUL driving.. i now half almost empty. the light kept coming on..lol.. whata stud.

NoW, Im ABouT TO Go TO BeD. NIGhT;)

Hrm

2004-11-19T02:33:02Z

it was weird.. last night, i had an urge. to get up and type a long entry about things.. but.. it was almost 2 in the morning and i had to get up and go to school at normal time. so i didnt..

I was going to come home and type about it. cause it was all i thought about at work.. but then.. i decided. i wasnt going too..

Today when i was filling out my enrollment.. i started thinking about things.. like.. the kind of person i've become what im going to do after highschool Who in my life means something to me and who i just need to get rid of all together..

Im going to be a senior next year, and its so weird to think that my life has changed so much since i entered highschool.. I remember being in 7th and 8th grade praying to get outta there and be a "young adult".. and after all that.. i figured out.. im just a little kid still.. You hear people talk about all the time about.. figuring out what you wanna do in life.. and what college their going to go too.. and people are thinkin about this freshman year.. and all i can think about is, what im going to do this weekend, or tomorrow.. Life's a weird circle..

When i was in 8th grade.. i never thought, i'd be doing the things i'm doing now.. in 8th grade.. i didnt smoke cigs, i didnt drink, i didnt smoke pot, i didnt pop pills.. that was.. a bad subject for me, never thinking i'd do ANY of that.. i mean, i was going to be a straight A student. i was going to KU. i had all these plans.. and now, i just wanna make it through highschool, go to a small college *i guess* and then.. that's where it stops. i have no idea what i wanna be when i grow up.. I have ideas, but thats it. just ideas..

People get mad at me and say that i "change friends so much"..well thats because, i always end up having a thought like one of these about who i wanna call my "friends" who i wanna be like "yea, i was friends with them, they're good people". but, not even just that. i mean.. there's people that i KNOW are good for me, that i just.. stop talking too, and i dont have a reason for it.. i really dont.. i guess because i don't feel like i belong any more, and i hate that feeling, and this one, im not blaming on anyone else, but myself. I was looking at old pictures the other night of me in middle school.. playing basketball. getting good grades *i mean, how easy was it to get an A in middle schooL? but still.*.. and.. i just dont know any more. Im not writing this for pitty. or for any reason like that.. im writing this because.. well, its my journal. and u people either choose to read it. or not.. but this is how i feel..

the people that i've hurt in my life is..crazy.. I mean, i think about some of the things i've said to people.. and i cant believe they came outta my mouth.. i mean, i was raised to be nice to fucking everyone, and to not say things i didnt mean.. and i do.. I mean, look at my dad.. he was.. my rock.. anything he said, i believed, because i thought he was the greated person in the world.. ya know? and then.. he moved away.. he started cheating on my mom.. had a kid w/ this girl.. if he wants to admit it or not, its his kid.. the kid looks JUST LIKE i did when i was younger.. JUST like me.. and.. then i think.. you know, if you turn around and do the shit that you always taught me that were wrong, then why cant i do it? and i do fuck up relationships w/ people because i have a HUGE trust issue.. a HUGE one. and people wanna say shit to me about fuckign up shit w/ people. and i agree, i do.. i dont trust guys.. thats why im like i am.. i guess when i talk about issues with guys. i guess im talking about joe. i mean, I love the kid, i do.. im not inlove with him, but i love him.. and i wish i could take back all the things i have said to him, to hurt him.. his friendship means something to me, and i do take some blame for the way we are to each other now, but, he has some fault in it too, but i cant talk to him about it without him saying im getting "weak" or "retarded" or "stupid".. ha.. but then i again i guess there isnt much you can say to someone who deosnt wanna listen, to just wants to judge you for thigns you've done, when they have done just as bad.. I mean, i do the same things with friends.. Makenzie for example.. we have known each other since 5th grade.. been best friends since 6th or 7th grade.. and people *well only one person* wants to bitch *no names* because we're friends again..well, guess what.. she isnt my best friend.. she's my sister.. she's one of the only people that i can honestly say that i trust, and that i respect.. I dont care how many people bitch at me and/or her for being friends w/ each other.. to me.. its kinda a long term boyfriend, u just can't forget them.. and with her, i cant forget her. and i wish i could back the things that i have done, or said to her, because i love her.. i love her to death, she's like part of my family... and i cant even talk about this without crying.. because im so fucking thankful.. that we're friends again, and that we're not on bad terms.. i just wish she was still living here..

I was in self-dev. and we were watching this movie.. and some of the things the guy in there says just kinda hits home like you cant be happy with other things, if you're not happy with yourself and thats so true.. im not happy with myself.. im not happy with the things i do, but i do them anyways because i figure "hey, you're only going to be a teenager once.. so why not live it up?".. but.. what you do when you're a teenager decides the rest of your life for you..

Have you ever.. sat there, and been thinkin about something, and then totally forget.. or.. say something and then totally forget what u just said?.. well, thats happening all the time to me.. and its not because my mind is on 18493 different things.. its because.. i have fried myself. lol. pretty much plain and simple... and i might laugh about it, but it isnt a laughing matter..

The people i were hanging out with that got me into the things i started doing, are totally outta my life.. and i have stopped doing the stuff i used to do for the most part.. I remember during the summer of my freshman year going into my sophmore year.. I was doing red pills.. and oxy cotton.. and just shit that i thought at the time, was awesome.. but i realized, it wasnt awesome. it was fucking stupid.. it is a time in my life, i don't want to have to face anymore. *shrugs* i have no idea.. I dont know. i really dont any more. I guess it just scares me, to know that im almost outta highschool. and my life will just begain.. i will start making my own choices.. kinda scary..

alright.. well im done.

klamarie @ 2004-11-17T22:56:00

2004-11-18T05:07:30Z

So pretty sure tonight was fun.. okay jk. it wasnt. it was gay:0)..

I came home and my dad was here, so he was here for about an hour and so we talked and then he left and i ate a corndog, and then went to sleep:0). I was suppose to go with david to the gym but i didnt wake up til 7 or so i wasnt feeling too good. so i just said we'd go tomorrow when i get off work..

I called and talked to john.. poor kid. he broke his foot.. he's always havin something bad happen to him lately. but the little bitch doesnt have to go to school the rest of the week. lol how gay is that? lol... oh well, i cant wait to hang out with him, i missy him like crazy..

This weekend is gonna be fun.. i get to hang out with Rah *rachel* and peanut *mia* so. that should be a blast like always..

6 more days til one one eight four comes back intown.. im watching dr. phil and its about pedohiles and he's like "WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY KAYLA?!" lmfao.. but everyone knows makenzie is the only one who i talk too that is a pedophile..:0)

KrAYoLA CrAy0n: im watching dr. phil about pedophiles online
KrAYoLA CrAy0n: lol
SkaTeR4LiFe893: haha
SkaTeR4LiFe893: i wish id get upducted
KrAYoLA CrAy0n: oh. your day will come;-)
SkaTeR4LiFe893: =-O
SkaTeR4LiFe893: IS THAT A THREAT
KrAYoLA CrAy0n: ..no:-[
SkaTeR4LiFe893: come upduct meee
KrAYoLA CrAy0n: lol
SkaTeR4LiFe893: do it.

haha.. pedophile madness has taken over meeeeeeeeeee:0P lol.. im out. byez:0)

klamarie @ 2004-11-16T20:54:00

2004-11-17T03:04:27Z

I havent really been doing a lot for the last couple days..

Last night, i went and got David and then we went to Zona and i helped him pick out shirts:0).. so then after that.. my dad called and so we went over to my grandparents where he's staying.. i wasnt going to take david, but we hung out together for only.. maybe an hour, and so he said he wanted to go over there.. whata brave kid;0). so we went over there. which i warned him before we went over there. and everything i said was right. and my grandpa. being his normal self. was talking to him like he was going to fucking ask for my hand in marrige. it was kinda gay. but they hit it off.. so that was good.. which. it actually, didnt matter cause we're not going out or dating or anything.. lol he just wanted to go over there with me..

So night, i went to work.. which was FUN as always.. I love my Smithville girls! they crack me up hardcore:0)..
AFTER work, i went and got David and then got Ricky, and went and saw matt at work, and then nick and alan came up there too.. so then..... yea. then i took them home cause i wanted too.. for some odd reason..

THis weekend rach is havin another party at her house.. so that will be a BLAST again.. we all had SO much fun last friday. getting fucked up.. seeing derek puking on himself.. driving to liberty to meet waterboy and then getting lost going to someone's house.. getting back to rach's and figuring out you knew where the house was the whole time.... and josh. haha josh is having a party too. so that'll be fun like always..

Today at school was fun.. I guess friday when i was drunk i asked kevin out, which, i DONT remember.. but everyone says i did. so its a HUGE joke between everyone.. and i have Matt, Ricky, and him all in my Comm. Arts class.. so all Hour they would make fun of me for it.. and then i took Travis and Kevin home after school and kevin kept saying stuff.. lol.. they're crazy. But.. Ricky confessed today that i DIDNT ask Kevin out.. that they were just fucking w/ me cause i was so fucked up they thought it was funny to tell me something that didnt happen and make me believe it.. and the sad part is.. i believed it. lol.. Silly kids..

ALSO.. i was looking on my table. and i found the note from Ryan! *a guy i work with.. and ive been looking for this note forever..* see.. we write notes back inforth to each other when we work. cause we're each other's favorite:

Kayla-
Than you very much for your notes, i will treasure this one always.

P.S.
You are my favorite too!!

Ryan

haha i heart him

*OH! isnt it funny.. how you look at a date. and realize what happened.. a year.. or two years ago?.. i find that weird.. cause i had one of those thoughts last night.. 11/15.. any guesses?*

klamarie @ 2004-11-15T15:29:00

2004-11-15T21:32:54Z

..How do you tell someone something that you KNOW will hurt them.. and you think u should tell them, but don't have the heart too?:0/

klamarie @ 2004-11-14T17:17:00

2004-11-14T23:27:31Z

This weekend was alright i guess..

Friday ..I started out going shopping.. which.. was awesome.. i actually had a big enough check to go.. so that was good.. i went home and got changed and then met Ricky up at Osco.. and these guys were following me and kept looking so i waved and then Ricky got into the car and they stopped and he was like "tell them im your boyfriend" and i was like "...no.. how about i dont" ..so anyways..they came over and talked to me.. nuthing special.. cause i was like "uh gotta go.." lol.. so then we left.. and went over to Rachel's and i called Brian to see what he was doing.. and so he went and got me vodka and then he came over to rachel's.. so yea.. i drank.. a lot.. i guess my "no drinking" rule this weekend didnt go down good.. cause i got trashed.. so then rachel alan and me went and got mia from work and then we went back and mia and derek went w/ me to go get matt from work.. so then we came back and drank more.. and then andrea came over cause she wanted us all to smoke w/ her.. and so we said okay.. haha...so then we smoked w/ her.. and thats pretty much all i remember.. i guess.. i asked out Kevin.. which i dont remember doing.. so i broke up w/ him last night lol.

Saturday i went to work. i worked with Amber and Shellie.. which means totally good time.. i worked w/ them and Otto and Ryan and Brandon, and Michael.. and those kids crack me up.. some of the people probably think we have downs cause we're so weird.. and me and ryan have a call to each other when we wanna talk.. its some weird noise.. lol. my grandparents and dad came up to eat.. and then my sister came up there to see me, and she was totally shit faced, which.. she's sooooo adorable when she's drunk cause she has to stop and think about what she's going to say and then she calls me her "little sissy" lol.. it was funny.. and then after work.. shellie and me went to hooters w/ matt, alan, jeff, nick, travis, ricky, amber, jessica, and kevin. Which was fun. and then i took shellie home and then i rode around with her and jessica.. and then amber took me to go see her new house.. which is HUGE. its an awesome house.. a party house;0).. so then i came home around 1:30 or so. and then i talked to sean on the phone for about an hour and then i went to sleep.. and didnt wake up til about.. an hour and a half ago:0).. Due to Saint's phone call. But other then that.. that was my weekend.. and now im sitting here.. doing nothing. Zack wants me to come over to Jeff's but. i don't want to really do anything, i just wanna sit here, and do nuthing..
-----
Im listening to "I love the way you move" and EVERYTIME i hear this song, i think of Rob.. and it gets me kinda upset. cause i miss him.. and when i start to think about him, i think about Aaron too.:-/.. Damn i miss those boys.

Boo

2004-11-12T19:57:40Z

So Last night.. when i got off work, i just stayed here. i dont remember if i updated last night or not. i believe i did. but. eh, oh well.. Lawrence wasnt too happy with me last night cause i didnt go drink w/ him.. actually he wasnt too happy with me cause i let him go cause i was on the phone w/ Makenzie. and he goes "the kayla i USED to know would NEVER get off the phone with me for ANYONE" and i was like "that was when kayla LIKED you. she doesnt anymore. good bye".. haha. he didnt like that any, but i called him back. so he got over it.

I finally got the shit for my phone to work. so i can get free ring tones and wallpapers.. and shit im excited:0)..

I got up this morning to go to school and i came home after 2nd block cause we werent doing anything in any of my other classes, and well, im not feeling too well again. so i came home..

I get home and my mom calls me and is like trippin out and im like "WHAT!?" and she tells me my dad is intown.. and so i was like "What?!" and so i have a beep and its him.. and he's sitting outside of the house.. *sigh* sometimes i wish he'd just leave us alone.. but.. then again, i don't cause he's my dad. but.. anyways. he just starts talking to me like nuthins wrong, walks in the house like he still lives here or somethin.. which kinda bothered me.. but.. i cant do shit about it. so im guessin we had a "nice" convo. he's coming up there to smokehouse tomorrow to eat, cause that was his FAVORITE place to eat.. which. is my fault for working there. cause i KNEW if he ever came back. he'd go there to eat.. He's back til the 22nd. so im sure. he'll wanna "spend time" with me. so i guess ill be doin that. Its just kinda weird when u dont see someone that you loved more then anything then lifes itself.. only once a year. if that.. it'll be a year dec. 29th since i saw him.. I guess its better then not having him at all.. but sometimes i wonder, cause he isnt really here and talkin to him maybe once every..5 months. but.. eh. cant pick your parents.

*Ona brighter note. i love my hair. i just got done doing it and i LOVE how it turns out. its so cute:0)..

Tonight is gonna be fun.. Kenzie didnt end up coming home, but. Im going with Kylie and Shellie to Phil's party.. so thats gonna be fun. then im going to Rachel's party w/ matt cause i PROMISED him i'd go.. so i kinda have too.. and for one weekend, im not going to drink.... this will be a first..

*Kayla*

klamarie @ 2004-11-11T20:06:00

2004-11-12T02:13:49Z

today at work was awesome.. i love working with Shellie and Jenny.. they make me giggle:0)

I really.. dont have anything what-so-ever to fucking type in here.. but im ona updating trip so,i wanna update even if i slept all day..:0).

School is Cool? *laughs* just kidding.. it really isnt.. I miss amber.. she hasnt been at school for the last couple days, and i havent worked w/ her.. i miss muh burr..

I was suppose to hang out with lawrence tonight and drink, but i kinda have homework to do.. actually, i don't KINDA have homework, i DO have homework, im just kinda lazy and i dont wanna do it.. but i will cause tomorrow is the end of grading period.. :0)

Cheese comes home tomorrrow. Im excited for that.. this weekend is going to be FULL of drinkin memories *or memories of BEFORE we got drunk* i can already tell..

Breathe strech ShaKe let it go..

Im out. Nuthing exciting going on.

*KaylA maRIE*

klamarie @ 2004-11-09T22:20:00

2004-11-10T04:23:34Z

Wow. Pretty sure i figured the way i once felt.. went away.. but.. as far as tonight went.. i figured out.. im still the same scared little girl as i once was.. and its just getting worse..

I dont even know how to explain how i feel right now about things, there isnt a word to explain how.. id ont even know. ha.. this is great. i love feeling like this.. being a loss of words. it has got to be the best feeling ever.. once when i thought everything was piecing together..

it falls apart.. one by one

klamarie @ 2004-11-09T21:41:00

2004-11-10T03:55:56Z

I really did.. nothing tonight.. I did homework for once:0). so yay for me:0)..

I fixed dinner for my mom.. so that was exciting..

Then i went and saw matt at work cause i promised him i would. so we smoked a cig. and then i came home and did my homework.. and then yea..

So, pretty sure i waited all night for Bret to get on cause i hadnt talked to him today.. and when he got on everything was cool. Until he had a "short fuse" again.. He got into a wreck, and if you've rode with me when people like speed by me i go "whoa earnhart".. and i was just kidding w/ him and i go "well u can tell ur dad im not an earnhart like u" and he FREAKED out and goes "MANDY AND EVERYONE GOT REALLY HURT IN THE WRECK THAT ISNT FUNNY".. i was like "okay bad ass.. pretty sure you're done talkin to me".. Gay if u ask me. I didnt know by calling some earnhart, and not even talking about the wreck, would get him so fucking freaked out. but oh well, honestly, i dont give a fuck. its not like im going to be up all night worrying about it.. Short Fuses makenzie. short fuses.:0)

klamarie @ 2004-11-07T19:44:00

2004-11-08T01:44:50Z

SO last night.. lets go ahead and start explaining it..

I get off work around 9 or so.. so i called danielle cause we were going to hang out but she started drinking so then I had to wait for her to calm down for a bit before i went and got her..

So i came home and changed and i went over to Nate's house cause Jenny and Lezley called me and told me that it was the last party he was having over there.. So i went over there for a bit and i smoked and drank and then nate was leaving so then we all figured we'd go to Josh's house for his party.. So we're standing there talking to people and this guy was like "my name's brian" and i was like "SIMMONS?!" and he goes "how did you know my last name?" and i go "cause im kayla" and he just kinda looked at me and i go "YOUR COUSIN!!" and he goes "Oh wow! hey whats up" cause i havent seen him for almost 7 years.. so yea, and then we left and went to josh's for a minute and i see Vinnie! *Douche Bag* ..so he went with me to go Get danielle.. so then we went back over to josh's and drank and shit and yea, that was it.. i ended up coming home cause i had to go to work at 10 this morning.. but anyways, when we were playing fuck the deal last night i kept texting bret, and he calls me and says "ifhsdkfhsk Ill call you tomorrow" and i was like "okay bye" cause i had a speaker next to my ear so i was just like whatever.. so he texts me this moring and tells me he got into a wreck:(.. So I had to let him go cause i was at work and he called me at like 5 cause he thought thats what time i got off and told me everything that happened. I feel bad for him:0(.. Thank god him and his friends were okay.. i mean, it was surprising they were cause they ran into a brick wall.. so yea..

Today at work was tight.. I worked Carry out and I worked with Phil, Kylie, and SHellie, so that was fun.. Tomorrow me Kylie, and Shellie all work together.. so pretty sure we wont get anything done cause we kept getting introuble to day cause all we wanted to do was talk to each other.. lol.. So yea.. thats about it..

*Me*

16 DaYs BuBby!:0)

YoU FuCk

2004-11-06T18:25:30Z

Last night was.. alright i guess..

I came home from school and got my hair cut.. its so short:( but everyone says they like it.. so then i guess its cool:0)

I came home and did my hair cause i hate when the bitches do it for me, and then Nick came over and got me and we went out to dinner.. it was great seeing him again.. i used to see him alot but now i hardly ever see him, so thats gonna change..

I came back home and changed and then hung out with rachel and jeremy and allen.. we went and got shit to drink (which i said i wasnt going too, but that didnt happen) and then we went to hooters to see Josh and Ricky and everyone.. and then we left and went over to Jeremy's brother Jason's house.. Which.. i was PRAYING Jimmy would be there cause he's fucking HoTt.. but the bad thing is.. my sister was really good friends with these people. haha.. so anyways.. my sister calls when im over there and im drinkin and she's like "lemme talk to jason" so she's talking to jason and shit and then i hear "i will kris.. i promise ill watch her" an dim like "WTF" so then he gets off the phone and he looks at me and goes "..I told her id watch you, but i didnt tell her what i'd watch you do" lmfao..it was funny.. So then around 9:30 we left and we were GOING To go see Saw.. which i wanted too so bad cause i was going with Bret. but Travis called Allen and started talkin shit to him and tellin him he wanted him to meet him somewhere so he could beat his ass... so we go to the movies and wait for Bret and i get him in my car with Rachel and the boys are in the other car, and we pull up next to them and i guess they were talkin shit to bret cause he had a park hill jacket on.. so i was like dear god.. but they were cool w/ each other.. so then we go and watch the "fight" which was nuthing but fucking 2 hits and then "im done, you're bigger then me" so.. we cant find anything to do after that cause we cant go to Josh's party cause Travis would eb there and we were with allen and they dont like each other.. if u didnt know:0).. so we went to shell, and i see Todd, two other kids, and Jason, so we talk to them.. and then we leave cause rachel has to be home at 12.. so me and Bret go over to LEzley's to talk to her about everything.. and then we left and i took him back to the movies to get his car, and then he went home.. so exciting night, i know. It was actually pretty good though cause bret is fucking funny as hell, That kid cracks me up.. and all of my guy friends got along with him.. and it was amazing.. because normally, they hate the guys i bring around, but they liked bret, so that was a plus.. and i think i like him too..

*kayla*

WHaTa NiGhT

2004-11-04T01:09:05Z

Wow.. So.. Today at school was good.. i enjoyed it.. nuthing really excited happened, it was just a good day..

After school i went over to adam's for a bit where Josh, Nikki, Adam *of course* and bailey were.. and that was the end of that.. cause i came home to clean my car..

SO im cleaning out my car and the phone rings and i look at it and it says "bicycle chris" and im like "Wtf" so i answer it and he's like "HEY!!!" and i was like "what..." and he geos "that isnt nice.. what are u doing?" and i go "cleaning out my car.." and he goes "well do u wanna hang out?" so i went and got him and we went to the mall so i could help him pick out some shoes, and of course, he got the fucking gayest fucking pair anyone could think of.. but if u know chris, then u know he wears gay shoes.. but anyways.. we're walking out and he fucking takes my keys and starts running like a fucking idiot out the door, and then rob pulled up and so yea.. that was all mixed up.. but.. its all good.. anyways, we talked to rob and then i got my keys back after fucking giving him 20 hugs.. and then i took him home and now im here.. not that excited.. just.. weird..

BUSH WON. w00t w00t..

Bye:0)

I dont want my love to go to waste, i want you, and you're beautiful

2004-11-02T03:00:36Z

..So today at school wasnt all that bad.. Self-Dev. was kinda sad.. we talked about death and shit.. and thats the last subject anyone really wants to talk about..
American Cit was fun.. me and Jessica talked all hour and then we were playing with my bouncy ball and mr. de something fag took it from me cause it rolled across the floor during the news and John got up to get it for me so he made him stay after class but i told him it was my ball and my fault.... and he kept my ball.. i knew i hated that guy.. i knew it..:0)

I FINALLY Got to talk to Bret Moyer! I miss that kid. I used to talk to him all the time, but then i didnt have the internet any more so i didnt get to talk to him! but i talked to him tonight! I missy him.. We're suppose to go friday sometime and see Saw together. So that should be fun.. Damn that kid is fucking HOTT.. killer body too..mmmmmmm... OKAY ANYWAYS:-D

Paulie comes home in 21 days.. Im so excited.. I finally get to see him.. I havent seen him for almost 5 months since the last time he came back from Nebraska from school.. Im excited to see my Cupcake..

Thats about it, i dont have anything else to type..:-/

Im OuTtIe

*me*

klamarie @ 2004-10-29T07:50:00

2004-10-29T13:56:02Z

So.. Yesterday..

I went and got Ben around 12 or so.. cause he needed a book from the Library and he didnt have a car so i had to go get it for him.. and then we left and we smoked.. and wow.. it was crazy.. and then i went over to Adam's for like 30 minutes and then went home cause my mom was coming to get me soe we could go out to eat with my sister and john, but i didnt go.. i was way to high to go and i knew john would know and he'd make fun of me and say something and get me introuble, so i just didnt go..:0)..

I dunno what im doing tonight, i dont know if i wanna do anything or not, Nate's having a party either tonight or tomorrow and he wants me to come, Barry wants Jenny to come, and Alex wants Lezley to come, so yea.. they're all three retarded, but i guess its cool cause we'll get to break in Nate's new house:0).. Go us:0)

I ACTUALLY wanted to go to school SO bad this morning for some unknown reason, but my mom is a fucking idiot sometimes.. she set the alarm to go off at 7.. when school starts at 7:20.. she's so fucking retarded sometimes, but.. oh-well..

I guess i cant do too much about it now..

Im Out.. Time for a Nap-o

klamarie @ 2004-10-27T21:07:00

2004-10-28T03:15:12Z

Lets see.. if i can remember what day i did what:)

The last time i wrote, that night i went and hung out with CoCo and Ben. Those two kids are crazy.. They crack me up.. We drove around for a bit and smoked and then we went to some girl's house to get something of ben's.. and it took us at least 20 minutes longer then it should of because he kept telling us to go different ways.. lol.. and then on the way back he kept hitting me because i KNEW were i was going and he was telling me to go a different way.. so finally i went anyway he told me too so i wouldnt get hit in the leg while i was driving lol.. so yea..

Last night, I went to work and when i got off me and amber smoked and went and saw Adam and Rachael at work.. and rachael was stamping me with the kid thing and she stamped me on the forehead with it.. lol it was funny.. so then i took amber home and then Carl pulled up next to me and tried to be a cool kid and race me in my 4 banger... he's cool isnt he? lol.. so i stopped and talked to him for awhile.. and then i went home and went to bed..

Tonight i worked for a bit and then they let me off so i went over to Zack's and then Jeff came over and we all watched the baseball game. Those kids crack me up.. but anyways.. then i left and.. here i am now.

Exciting past couple of days huh?

HrmiE

2004-10-25T22:22:12Z

Im so confused about a lot of things..

one minute, i know what i want..

next minute, im back where i started..

I dunno how you can tell someone you love them one day, and then the next, they go back to.. acting like u arent even there..

But when they feel like it.. they'll be back there telling you the same old shit you've heard before.

I just dont get things, and how they work.

CoDY: i dont like to be single, but i dont like to get hurt, i mean i want someone there.. to care about me
CoDY: and hold me, and chillax when i want

Thats exactly how i feel..

But when i think about it.. i dont want that either, i mean, i wanna just have fun with my friends..

--------------

I got another letter from Aaron, i guess he's doing good in boot camp.. i dunno when he'll be going too Iraq..

Rob's on his way there now.. and im scared.. really scared.. i don't want to loose him, but im SO PROUD of him for doing this.. he's one person i look up too in life.. Damn i miss him and Aaron like crazy.. i just wish they'd come home and come bug me like they used too..

--------------

Im supposed to hang out with Carl today, I havent hung out with him for a LONG ass time, I kinda miss him and his weirdness..

Thats enough for now i guess..

*COnFuSEd*

fdskjhf

2004-10-21T22:07:00Z

This is going to be kind of a long entry. because for some fucking odd reason i feel like typing..

Lately.. Things have been weird..and i dont know why.. Maybe its just me.. maybe its not.. I have really no fucking clue..

I've been spending a lot of time at work now that i have two jobs.. But i guess working is good for me.. I work with Amber at Smokehouse so thats rather fun. Im not as scared to be there with her there, cause i know her. haha.. Im going to try and work at The Q too still i guess, i dunno.. if i do i wont ever be able to do anything on the weekends cause i'll be working nights there.. so thats probably a negative, im 17.. really dont wanna work til 2 every friday and saturday. I dont really like that idea.

For the past couple days i've been going over to adam's after school and chillin with them.. and I dunno.. its weird.. I never woulda thought ina millions years.. that i'd be hanging out with paper and ben and all of them.. but.. they're awesome. they really are.. ben and adam crack me up when im with them. but for the last couple days. shit between me and adam have gotten weird.. and i dunno why.. he got mad at me the other night for the most stupidest reason ever on the face of this earth! and then we just got into a huge fight and ben tried to make it better, but i think it made it worse. I was trying to call ben outta school today so we could start our "drinking buddy" bond.. but it didnt work, they caught on.. damn school..

I feel lost without Jenny and Lezley.. I havent hung out with them since saturday, and i feel lost. i really do. Im used to being with lezley everyday after school til one of us have to go home and being with both of them when jenny got off of softball practice.. and now, i dunno.. I just feel totally lost.. I love those girls to death though, they are the best people ever. they really are. it's kinda getting to the point where it's scary.. cause we either say the same thing at the same time, finish each other's sentences, or we're like "I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY THAT" its.. rather scary..

My mom's going outta town tomorrow.. where? i dont remember, but all i know is, she's leaving.. and tomorrow night i have to stay with my sister cause she's a fucking nazi.. but then saturday Im having some people over and im going to stay here and do.. well, everyone knows.. There's ONE person i want to come more then anything, but they're mad at me, for.... what? nuthing.. they're just being fucking retarded because i told them the truth about what i thought about them.. Dont wanna know? dont ask.. thats what i have to say. but then again, they think they're always right, and well, no.. you're not.. Maybe u shouldnt of asked what u did.. and there wouldnt of been answer, cause i however, was never planning on telling you.. ever.. i was going to let it be and let things go the way they were cause i liked it.. but no.. had to ask..

I hate school. I really do.. enough said about that.. everyone knows..

I think in the past week, there has been 39048 problems with me..seriously.. i went to the doctor today again and it just keeps gettigng worse.. and its retarded.. I seriously hate it. It's nothing TOO serious at this moment, but its getting there.. who needs a kidney anyways? not me:0).. okay just kidding. hopefully no one wants to pull a piss test on me, cause i fail because of all the shit they have me on, its horrible. well, i'd fail the test anyways, with or without the meds.. haha..

The other day, i actually thought about not drinking or smoking anymore, but then i thought about it again, and figured, might as well, i wont be able to do it the rest of my life.. and its fun.. and its not like im in hardcore shit like coke and meth, and shit like that.. and dont say it'll lead up to that, cause i've been doing this for almost 3 years, and still havent tried any hardcore drug.. and if i do say so myself, i do think thats rather good..*shrugs*

I was reading my entries and i didnt realize how many of them talked about guys.. *shakes head* Im.. I dont even know. I honestly dont even like anyone right now, and im totally fine with that. im not even ready for a relationship with anyone, i just like being able to do what i want without a fight for it.. ya know? i figured since it's been almost a year and half since i've had a boyfriend, i'd want one, but i dont..

My mom.. I have to talk about this without getting tears in my eyes.. I.. cant explain how much i love my mother.. She's my rock.. my star.. my.. best friend? I had a dream about her dying the other day.. and i woke up and woke her up and just gave her a huge hug and a kiss.. cause.. she means the fucking WORLD to me..

Alright, i think im finally done. I gotta wait for my mom to get home so i can go with her and spend sometime with her before she leaves

AS The CLOcK TiCkS

2004-10-17T21:47:40Z

Last night was pretty awesome i do say so myself. I went out to dinner with my sister and john and then he put in my headlights that they got me for my birthday, and then.. we went out to dinner.. and when we're there, Smokehouse calls, and i find out, they gave me the job there. so i was excited.

I came home and i didnt feel good so i called into work.. but like an hour or so later i felt better so i went out with Lezley and Jenny.. and we headed over to Nate's for the party.. And then honestly, after that, i cant remember. I hate that.. I do remember getting lost on the way home from dropping jenny off.. ON NORTH OAK.. and i dunno how u get lost on north oak.. when you go up and down it at least 20 times a day to get everywhere.

I dunno what we're doing tonight. I wanna Go to Paper's. i wanna see him:0(.. I miss da paper even though i just saw him friday. haha..

Person #1- he gets 17 spankings..

Person #2- You know what would be funny?

Person #3- No what?

Person #2- If i were to say "i didnt get spankings for my birthday, but my ass did get tapped"

Lmfao.. People nowadays.. think we dont hear convos, but we do. lol

klamarie @ 2004-10-12T15:34:00

2004-10-12T21:38:24Z

Wow, I would like to update more then i do, but i cant because my computer is fucking retarded...

Today is my birthday, and im sick, how great is that?

Its weird because i woke up this morning feeling different, not older, but kinda like a new person, because i realize that im 17 years old.. and thats.. almost 18 which means almost outta high school and on to my own life.. and the shit i do now, isnt what iw ant to be doing the rest of my life.. the partying is great, and trust me, i dotn want to stop that, but some other shit i do isnt worth it any more..

How i wish i could go back to being 15.. just starting to get the exciting times in my life, and redoing the bad ones.

klamarie @ 2004-09-28T23:33:00

2004-09-29T05:33:31Z

Ona brighter note..

Michael May PetersEn.. is.. the coolest kid ever.. and he IS important enough to be in here.. why? i dont know.. since he didnt come see me Monday.. but.. thats okay.. because he is STILL my FAVORITE Michael May:0)

Shoe Doop

2004-09-29T05:27:48Z

Lets see.. Last night was probably horrible..

Rob left for the military.. that had to be the hardest thing ever.. knowing i might not be able to see him again scares the fuck outta me.. I love him with ALL of my heart, i really do.. he's like my best friend.. my brother.. He took me outside yesterday to talk to him and i just starting bawling, i couldnt stop.. and i think what scared me the most was when i asked him to promise me i'd see him again, and he goes "i cant promise u that, as much as i would like too.. i cant" ..and i just lost it.. he kept telling me to stop but how can i? i ended up leaving and i came home and curled up ina ball and just cried for hours.. Im SO glad for what he's doing for our country.. i dont think i could be more proud of someone.. but it still hurts..

Random note: Lezley hit her head on the fan at Phil's house:0)

I read Lezley's journal entry and i was speechless.. I love that girl so much.. her and jenny both.. ever since school started me and lezley have spent everyday together.. from the time we get outta school til 10 o'clock.. We're lost without each other... and now Jenny is hanging out with us.. and its great.. we all three laugh for hours and hours about stupid stuff.. I love those girls to DEATH!

Tonight:

I worked and then left and went to Six Pockets to get brett and take him back to his house but before we did that we stopped by Phil's so i could see him! Then.. went home? actually.. i made another stop.. but we're not going into that one, cause.. it's pointless to even talk about it.. it really is..

Missing.....

2004-09-27T22:33:38Z

lets see..

Yesterday i picked up jackie, jessie, derek, and jacob and ran them to the hospital really fast so they could get brian's keys from him so they could go get his car and take it to him.. So then at like 3:30 i drop them back off at Jessica and Jackie's house..

Me, Jenny, and Lezley all went up to Six Pockets and met Joe, Phil, and Bret up there.. and then we all went back to Phil's house and chilled for a bit. then i took lezley home and then i went back over to Phils and we stayed there for awhile and then.. i me and jenny went home...

I get a call last night from Jessi Davis wanting to know if i knew where Derek, Jackie, Jacob, and Jessica were.. and i was like "no.. why" and she goes "because they all ran away.." and i was like.. "wow alright then.. they're just out for a bit.. they'll be back..." well i knew jacob and derek hadnt been at their house since friday because Jessica and Jackie's parents were outta town so they stayed over there..

This morning i went into school about 11:15.. well at like 10.. the doorbell rings, and i look out my window and it's jacob's mom and some other lady.. so i answer the door and they're asking me about if i knew where they were. and i was like "no, i dropped them off at like 3:30 and havent talked to them since" so.. my mom called me.. well fucking Mrs. Warren called my dad and was asking him if i knew where i was because of everyone running away, and she thought i was one of them too.. so my dad calls me and i didnt answer cause i was getting ready and then called my mom and started freaking out so my mom called me and was like "they told ur father that u ran away" and i was like "wtf".. so i went into school and talked to mrs. warren and was like "dont call my dad.. at all, because he doesnt know whats going on and wouldnt know if i ran away or not.. thats why u have my mother's number." so all that got taken care of.

So after school lezley and i went over to Jacob's house and tried to help his mom think of people that theyd be with.. but we couldnt think of anything that she hasnt already thought of..:0/..

Tonight i guess im chillin with paper. He called me and wanted me to go chill with him.. so i guess i'll be doing that..

I'll update later..

*Kayla*

Its kinda funny how... i dunno, its just funny

2004-09-26T08:12:21Z

Okay, Tonight.. was.. a-maz-ing

I got all dressed up and went and iuoeyr9034809wi809o34 <~about homecoming

NOW TO THE IMPORTANT PART

Okay, Jenny, Bret. Lezley/cowboy/evan, Me, Phill, Daniel and rob all went to the haunted houses.. We get down there and we are being chased by the ugly dude with rats.. so anyways, we stand in line and stuff and then we end up going in, and it was great, but phil pussed out and had to get out cause he was freaking out cause he was in small spaces.. so anyways, it was fun.. so anyways, we go to the beast, and theres this guy standing outside all dressed up and he had this tongue that was 9304 miles long, so i was like "can i touch it?" so he let me and then he kept grabbin his dick and honking a horn and go "the horn isnt there! its on the side!" and he goes "no feel.." so like a dumbass i did.. so pretty much i grabbed the guy.. which was gross..so we go into the beast and it was fucking GAY AS FUCK! we were walking around in circles for at least 20 minutes trying to find our way out, and we couldnt find it, so all of us were like this is gay, and left.. well, evan lost us so we had to wait for him cause he was the only one left in there cause all of us left.. haha.. so anyways, we dropped lezley off to get her car and me, jenny, cowboy, phil and bret all went to phil's house and now..we're home:0) End OF StOrY:0)

+Kayla+